Being a mommy is no joke, y'all.
I, in no way, expected this to be easy, but I was kind of thinking I'd have it a little more figured out by now. I didn't expect to question myself daily or to feel inadequate or to wonder if I was producing enough milk or to wonder why in the heck my baby won't just close her eyes or to constantly compare myself to other mothers who seem to have it all together all the time with their perfect children who are always happy.
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
I've told Rob I don't know how many times, "I just want to be more like you!" He's a (mostly) worry-free type of guy that doesn't chalk things up to be something more than they are, and he is confident in the choices he makes. Me? I cry. That's how I handle things apparently...I cry. Maybe one day my hormones will be back in check?
Now, don't get me wrong, I love my baby with all of my heart and soul. She has become my everything and I would do absolutely anything for her, but I certainly don't want to paint this picture like everything is rainbows and butterflies over here because that's not real life. I think that's part of what makes being a mommy so difficult...you only want the very best for your children, and sometimes you feel like you are not enough. But I am enough. God chose me to be this baby's mommy, and God knows what He's doing. He really does. It's sometimes hard to remember that in the midst of a foggy tear-fest, but I know that He only wants the best for me, too. And there's really nothing more reassuring that. Well, that plus a hug from my husband and a phone-call to my mom, of course.