Friday, July 20, 2012

I am enough.

Being a mommy is no joke,  y'all.
I, in no way, expected this to be easy, but I was kind of thinking I'd have it a little more figured out by now. I didn't expect to question myself daily or to feel inadequate or to wonder if I was producing enough milk or to wonder why in the heck my baby won't just close her eyes or to constantly compare myself to other mothers who seem to have it all together all the time with their perfect children who are always happy.
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
I've told Rob I don't know how many times, "I just want to be more like you!" He's a (mostly) worry-free type of guy that doesn't chalk things up to be something more than they are, and he is confident in the choices he makes. Me? I cry. That's how I handle things apparently...I cry. Maybe one day my hormones will be back in check?

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my baby with all of my heart and soul. She has become my everything and I would do absolutely anything for her, but I certainly don't want to paint this picture like everything is rainbows and butterflies over here because that's not real life. I think that's part of what makes being a mommy so difficult...you only want the very best for your children, and sometimes you feel like you are not enough. But I am enough. God chose me to be this baby's mommy, and God knows what He's doing. He really does. It's sometimes hard to remember that in the midst of a foggy tear-fest, but I know that He only wants the best for me, too. And there's really nothing more reassuring that. Well, that plus a hug from my husband and a phone-call to my mom, of course.


8 comments:

Kaila Nickel said...

Ah, I love that. God chose YOU, because He knew that you were perfectly suited to be Jaqs' mom. Every heartache and joy in your life has prepared you to be just the mom she needs! And you are DEFINITELY enough! xoxo

Cassi said...

You could've fooled me! Everytime I see you with her it looks as if you know exactly what your doing!! You are a great mommy! Jaqs scored big time ;) love you!!

Kaycee Gossett said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel Katie. But like you said as mothers WE ARE ENOUGH...and God did choose you to be her mommy and I Kaeden's!

Megan Diane Gibbs said...

This reminds me of my "let's get real" post awhile ago! Motherhood is NOT easy. But it IS worth it. Leighton is almost a year old and I question myself 900 times a day. But I will say God knows how to create mothers, its something in our souls, and every day your perfecting that gift, growing it, making it stronger. You already are a wonderful mother...because God knew you would be before you would have even dreamed this life up! Jaqs is a blessed girl to have you and Rob as parents! And trust me it all goes by to quickly! One day we will sleep soundly again, and I know on that day..I will be sad!!

Loren said...

Oh sweet friend, let me just reassure you that you are NOT the only mother that feels this way, and the people that look like that h e it perfect are more than likely putting on a good show. Wade is almost 3 and I still question myself daily on things I'm doing for him. But you are so right, God choose us to be these babies Mommies because he knew we were capable with His guidance!

And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that just crys! Rob and Brody sound very similar, just relaxed and worry free, everyhing will work it self out type attitude. Women and men are so different. Hang in there! Every age brings something new! Just know you are doing awesome!!!

Charlee Ann said...

I just had this same conversation with my cousin just the other day. I'm no momma yet but from the looks of things you are not alone! Just from getting to know you from your blog you are one sweet girl with a huge heart for you husband and baby. Keep it up girl, you are doing awesome!

Beth Ann said...

I completely relate. And my hubby is the same way...but thank God for that! We'd be in big trouble if there were two of me in the relationship! Ha! ;) I had a friend tell me, while I was still pregnant, that I was the best mommy for Holden because God chose me just for him. That really stuck with me. You are doing a great job! It's okay to cry sometimes. You only stress because you love her so darn much. Hugs!!!

Stephanie said...

From the outside looking in, I believe 1000% that you are more than enough for Jaqs but I'm sure that there are times when the doubt overrides us cheering you on. I will say I'm not even a parent yet and I'm already worried on if I'm going to be "enough" for Connor. And thanks to friends like you, I know that without a doubt this is God's plan and I will be the Mommy Connor needs.

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